Proud Of My Girlfriend
Posted on: April 16, 2009 by Matt
My girlfriend and I live together but we keep our finances fairly separate. We communicate the status of our bank accounts in passing throughout the month and we each cover some of the household expenses (we have a system to scale it based on income as mine is significantly higher). Our little system works fairly well as it allows us to each budget and plan in our own way. We also find that neither of us feels the system is unjust which means neither of us feels alienated by the arrangement.
In the past I have noticed that my girlfriend’s planning and budget includes spending about $300 per month on her credit card that she pays off at the beginning of the next month. I have been sure to let her know that I do not really agree with her method of planning and think it would be much wiser to plan based on what she has available. Having been burned way too much by debt I fear she may get behind the proverbial eight ball a little bit. However we have agreed not to force each other into decisions as long as we communicate before making any major investments or purchases. I am sure it sounds kind of funny but we are not yet married and we both enjoy having a level of financial freedom and latitude.
Last night my girlfriend told me that she has not yet charged anything to her credit card! She also alluded to not needing the credit card this month but that she was planning on using it for gifts while we are on vacation at the end of the month. Discovering that she has been able to make it through the month without using her card and having her portion of all her household bills paid is a huge step forward in my book. She has gone from the “I need” attitude with regard to her credit card to the less dramatic “I want”. I do not know if she will continue down a path of budgeting without the credit card but she has now proven it is possible.
I know that she has some financial goals and think that this may be a possible step in the right direction. I am just impressed and proud right now. I know it might seem like a small deal to a lot of people out there but she does so much to move herself in the right direction every day and I think a little acknowledgment but is due (even if she doesn’t read the blog).
It doesn’t sound funny to me at all – I know some pfbloggers look down on couples who keep their finances separate, but I don’t agree with that position at all. There’s a whole range of ways to deal with finance and it doesn’t have to be joint; it’s not like it reflects anything about your marriage if it’s not joint. Anyways I’m glad your gf was able to not put anymore on her card and that you’re acknowledging how proud you are of her! Unfortunately I’ve seen too much harassment and stereotyping of women as people who can’t control their spending – one awful remark even on a prominent pf blog, another in a huge twitter feed. So congrats on you!
MoneyEnergy –
Thanks!
She really does impress me daily. I have tried the joint finances in past relationships and it was a large part of the relationship ending.
I think that when we get married I will be open to a joint checking account for bill paying and such but to have two funnels from one account can lead to disaster.
I also think that women get a bad reputation but know several that are really pretty good with money. I try not to stereotype and to give credit where it is due!
Very impressive.
As far as how you handle your finances, that’s all up to you guys. What works for you two and makes you happy is all that matters. To heck with anyone who disagrees with it.
My husband and I kept our finances separate until we got married, and then we lumped all our money together. Even some married couples keep their money separate. I don’t personally get it, but it’s what works for them, so more power to ‘em!